Tired of being a member of the Itty Bitty Chichi Committee, but aren't sure if you want to commit to getting a full-on boob job? Well, it seems a New York-based plastic surgeon may have just the solution for you. Introducing: InstaBreast, a temporary breast augmentation procedure that allows ladies to take their amplified tatas out for a test drive before committing to getting the "real" deal implanted into their bodies for good. Developed by Dr. Norman Rowe, the procedure only takes 20 minutes and is relatively non-invasive. For the procedure, doctors simply inject saline directly into your breasts, and boom! You've got a new pair of InstaBoobs. Sounds too good to be true, huh? Well, that's because it sort of is.
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The Cinderella boobs, as I like to call 'em, will go poof! in few weeks, and will set you back between $2,500 and $3,500. That's an insane amount of money for a pair of saline breasts that will slowly deflate as they are absorbed back into your body. Why would anyone want to do this? It's like you're paying someone thousands of dollars to fill your boobs with salt water that'll slosh around for a few days before you pee it out. You're literally pissing your money away!
Besides the money issue, there's just something about having saline injected directly into my tatas that just creeps me out to no end; I can't stand the idea of having salt water just sloshing around in there all willy-nilly. That can't be good, right? Well, according to Dr. Ash Mosahebi, director of surgery of the London Plastic Surgery Centre, your body may absorb the saline in each breast at different rates, meaning you may be left having to deal with a pair of lopsided breasts until all of the saline has been completely absorbed by your body. Ugh! Call me loca, but I don't think having a nice full pair of boobs for a day and a half is worth having to deal a pair of mismatched bits for yet another week and a half. Perhaps I'm not one of Dr. Rowe's intended clients.
Dr. Rowe is peddling these temporary tatas to women interested in gaining a fuller bust line for a special event, like a wedding. Yeah, no–I'm just not willing to spend what would amount to vacation (or honeymoon) money on a pair of deflating breasts. In fact, if I wanted a pair of big chichis, I'd rather go whole hog and pay double the money for a pair that'll last anywhere between 10-20 years, or just slap on a pair of $10 chicken cutlets and call it a day. Either option is far more economical.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not against breast augmentation surgery. If that's what you want, and you feel like fuller breasts will make you look and feel better, then go for it. But if you're going get fake breasts, do your homework–the right way. Go for a consultation with a reputable surgeon. If you want to get a better sense of what you'll look like with bigger breasts, ask your surgeon to let you stuff an unlined bra with different sized implants. And if you still really want a pair of fuller breasts, invest in a permanent pair. Because money, like breasts, does not grow on trees!
Images via Corbis, Dr. Norman Rowe/ Twitter
