The first time I got my bikini waxed, I did so on impulse. I'd been walking around the city, when I walked passed a random salon offering a sale on Brazilian waxes when I decided, YOLO, and walked in to ask a strange woman to rip hair out of my most intimate area, by the root. That, it turns out, was a bad idea. I was so not prepared for what was about to go down. I didn't know that I was supposed to have prepped my lovely lady bits or that I couldn't do certain things right after getting her de-fuzzed. I also didn't know what I should have been looking for in a good quality salon. It's not like health inspectors go around slapping letter grades on waxing salons like they do cuchifritos. If only!
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My first waxing experience was, in a word, terrible. However, I've learned from my mistake. And now I want to make sure everyone else does, too. Because, honestly, no mujer should ever have to walk around with a hurt hooha. If you want to get waxed, here's 13 things you need to know to ensure your experience is as drama- and trauma-free as possible.
Image via Corbis
Say so long to stinky, sketchy salons!
If the place is dirty or you notice that your aesthetician isn't wearing gloves or she's dipping a used spatula into the hot pot of wax, feel free to leave. It's okay, to change your mind. You do not have to subject yourself to unsanitary conditions just to spare some stranger's feelings. It's your hooha and your money. Take both of them someplace cleaner.
Know what you want
You wouldn't walk into a hair salon and tell the stylist to do whaevs to the hair on your head, right? Well, the same goes for the hair down there. Before you meet with your aesthetician, decide whether you want her to remove the whole kit and kaboodle, leave a little landing strip, or just remove the hair along the perimeter of your bikini line. Knowing this before you go in will save you from the pain and embarassment of having to tell your aesthetician you really only wanted a basic bikini wax … when she's already halfway through giving you a Brazilian. Sorry, girl. At that point, you're committed.
Back away from the razor NOW!
The shorter your body or facial hair is, the harder it will be for your aesthetician to get wax to grasp on to it. Hair must be at least a quarter of an inch long for most waxes to adhere to it, which means you'll probably have to nix shaving (and tweezing) for a couple of days or weeks, depending on how rapidly your hair grows.
Numbing creams don't really work
I've tried different so-called numbing creams on multiple occasions and none of them ever worked. I even tried using them on different body parts. Still, I felt EVERYTHING. If you're going to get waxed, just suck it up and accept that it's going to hurt. But only for a little while. If your aesthetician is good, she'll help you breath through the pain. Besides, breathing is free. Useless creams are not.
Prep first, pamper later
Use a gentle sugar scrub to remove dead skin for a much more effective wax. Also, pop an ibuprofin about a half hour before your appointment to reduce pain and swelling. Now you're ready to toss your legs in the air like you just don't care, and have your aesthetician work her hair removal magic.
All waxes are not created equal
There are two kinds of wax. Soft wax is applied directly onto the skin and removed (along with the hair) using a cloth strip. Hard wax is applied directly on the skin, where it hardens before it is ripped off the skin, sans strip. In general, soft wax is good for smaller areas and fine hair. Whereas hard wax is ideal for the bikini area and legs, where hair tends to be thick and coarse. Personally, I love hard wax. It removes more hair in fewer tears, which also means less pain.
Timing is everything
Whether your waxing your arms, legs, or vagina, you're going to have to wait for your hair to grow out to be at least a quarter of an inch long so that the wax can actually adhere to each tiny folicle. For most women, that means waiting between two and three weeks. However, you really shouldn't go more than four weeks without waxing. At that point, your hair is probably super long, meaning it'll hurt like hell when your aesthetician yanks it out by the root. Remember: Two to three weeks is juuuuust right.
Do not go for a wax the week before your frenemy is due. PERIOD!
It'll hurt like hell, because your skin tends to be more sensitive to pain the week before your period. The first two weeks of your cycle are ideal for waxing, since your skin is much less sensitive then. Just be patient and deal with the stubble a little while longer.
You're going to get really itnimate with your waxer...and yourself
I hope you're not shy because your aesthetician is about to see you in a series of very awkward, awfully intimate poses. She may ask you to hold your legs open, or spread your, ahem, labios. And should you opt for a full-on Brazilian, be prepared to spread your cheeks, as well. But don't be embarassed, chica. Your aesthetician isn't. She sees lady bits day in and day out. Rest assured that she isn't judging you. So you shouldn't either.
Speak up!
No matter how good your aesthetician is, I'm willing to bet she's not a mind reader. So speak up if she's hurting you or if the wax is too hot. Let her know if you need a moment or two to recover after she's removed a patch of hair. Also, if this is your first time, tell her. Most [good] aestheticians are great about helping their clients learn how to woosah through the pain.
Do NOT hit the gym immediately post-wax
Especially not after a bikini wax! Lady V is angry and sore as it is. Adding salty sweat to her open pores isn't going to help her any. If you must work out that day, do it before your wax. And, of course, don't forget to shower.
Beware of what you're wearing
Do not wear anything black or tight on the day you plan on getting your hooha waxed. The reason for this is twofold. First, you're going to be a bit puffy and sore down there, so you'd be wise to wear something that'll give her room to breathe and recover. Second, most aestheticians prep the area to be waxed with baby powder, and remove excess wax residue using baby oil, meaning there's a good chance some of this oily, powdery mess can get on your clothes.
It gets better!
Yes, waxing hurts. But only the first few times. The more you wax, the less it'll hurt. Your body gets used to it, your hair becomes finer, and you develop a sort of connection with your aesthetician. Seriously, mine knows that when I blink my right eye four times in rapid succession, that means, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY AND CHOCOLATE, PLEASE STOP! But I rarely even do that anymore.
