Breastfeeding in public officially became legal in all 50 states this summer but that hasn't stopped people from giving the side eye to moms who exercise that right. Reka Nyari, a New York-based fashion photographer from Finland and self-proclaimed "lactivist," knows this all too well. She has gotten more than dirty looks for feeding her nearly 3-year-old girl. According to the DailyMail, Reka has been accused of trying to steal another woman's man over breastfeeding on an airplane! It sounds completely ridiculous but that is the sad reality of our society that is so quick to judge everything.
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We still have a long way to go before public breastfeeding doesn't cause a stir. Utah was one of the last states to legalize it but ended up making a controversial decision that made them look like they took one step forward and two steps back. They dropped the latter portion of the law that said "A woman may breastfeed in any place of public accommodation … irrespective of whether the woman's breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breastfeeding." The reasoning Utah Rep. Curt Webb gave for the amending the original language will make your eyes roll. "This seems to say you don't have to cover up at all," he said according to The Salt Lake Tribune. "I'm not comfortable with that, I'm just not. It's really in your face." Now it just says "A woman may breast-feed in any place of public accommodation."
Luckily, we are in a day and age where women who choose to breastfeed in public are more comfortable standing their ground. There are a number of celebrity moms like Gisele Bündchen, Pink, and Chrissy Teigen who are using their social media platforms to show themselves feeding their child everywhere, even at work. While Reka may not be a celebrity, she is doing the same thing with her platform. The proud mom is posting images from stunning breastfeeding photo shoots she has done on social media. It is a beautiful way to shut her critics down.
Reka gave birth to her daughter, Ilo, in November 2015 and has been breastfeeding ever since.
The 39-year-old says she has never given her daughter formula.
She was accused of publicly breastfeed in order to steal a man by a woman on a flight from New York to Budapest.
"She called me 'disgusting' followed by a litany of degrading swear words,” Reka told the DailyMail. "Apparently she thought I was trying to steal her man by quietly breastfeeding my baby during the landing of the plane.”
But little did this woman know that Reka could care less about her ignorant criticism and engages in small acts of rebellion on a regular basis.
"Breastfeeding is natural, and our breasts were made for feeding our babies. Associating breastfeeding with sex or perversion is disturbing," she said.
"I breastfeed everywhere my baby would want to be fed," she said in an interview.
"It doesn't happen that often anymore as my daughter is older, but when she was a baby, I would do it everywhere; restaurants, shops, meetings, streets, the subway, you name it," Reka continued.
"Looking back at it, it was my way of defying societal norms–I was waiting for someone to start complaining to me so that I could educate them about it."
Doing professional photo shoots where she is breastfeeding Ilo has been one of her boldest acts.
This image is so powerful!
The photos look like works of art.
"Nothing is more natural and healthy than moms breastfeeding their babies," she wrote in the caption of this photo. "I've been breastfeeding my daughter for 2.5 years and it has Been the most beautiful and bonding experience."
Ignorant comments won't stop her from advocating for normalizing breastfeeding in public.
Critics regularly drag her on Instagram.
Reka faces specific backlash for feeding her little girl beyond what some people consider to be a normal age.
"Now that my daughter is thirty-four-months-old, I get judged and criticized a lot," she told the Daily Mail. "Friends and family roll their eyes, give unapproving stares, and tell me that I should quit. They tell me that it's somehow harmful for my child and for me, that what I am doing is somewhat selfish, disturbing or perverse. People are shocked."
Reka refuses to back down and uses negative reactions as an opportunity to educate others.
"The more women speak publicly about this; the more people are exposed to the idea and the more acceptable it becomes," she said.
The lactivist has clapped back about the topic on Instagram.
"I wanted to touch on the subject of 'extended breastfeeding,' as it’s often referred to when done past baby’s 1st year," she wrote. "Too often I get dirty looks and snide comments, even from friends and family, regarding breastfeeding my 2 year old daughter. It’s often, disturbingly, regarded as mother-obsessive, and bad for the independence of the child. That could not be further from the truth! Breastfeeding your child past 2 years is incredibly healthy, both physically and psychologically, for both the mother and the baby. Please don’t take my word for it, just google it. Moreover, the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for children to 2 years and beyond. It’s been an incredibly bonding and beautiful experience, and it goes way beyond giving them milk. I will not be breastfeeding her forever, but for the short time that it’s beneficial to her, and possible to me, we will continue. Stop judging, and educate yourselves. And love!"
Reka admitted that she considered ending breastfeeding when Ilo turned one year old.
She found research that convinced her to continue breastfeeding and pediatricians supported the decision. "I am a working mom, with a career and busy travel schedule, and I always assumed that when I returned from my travels, she would be weaned off," she told the Daily Mail. "So far, that has not happened."
Breastfeeding has helped her bond with her daughter and has strengthened her immune system.
"I can't even tell you how many times she has gotten the antibodies from my breastmilk and avoided the cold that both me and my husband get," she said.
Breastmilk isn't Ilo's only source of nutrition.
"Of course, I give my daughter solid food too — she loves to eat," Reka said. "But some of the benefits of extended breastfeeding include: boosting the child's immune system, helping brain and intellectual development, and making children more socially adaptable and independent.'
Despite having such a strong stance, she still respects other women's choices.
"We should also stop the negative cycle of constantly criticizing and judging women's bodies and the decisions they make regarding their bodies," she said. "Choosing to breastfeed, or not to breastfeed, is an individual choice. These are my breasts, hear them roar."
