Imagine carrying your child until the third trimester, making the heartbreaking decision of having a late-term abortion and dealing with the emotional devastation. That's what happened to 27-year-old Jessica McCoy. The woman opened up about how she connects to her post-pregnancy body, which serves as a painful reminder of her unborn daughter. This story is touching and heartbreaking, but also inspiring. As moms, we can connect with her journey of emotional rebirth.
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McCoy is already a mother to a 6-year-old and a stepmom to two other kids. She and her partner were excited to add to their family and she got pregnant on the first try. Later on in the pregnancy, her unborn child was diagnosed with spina bifida, which is a birth defect that targets the baby's spinal cord. They ran more tests and found that the baby had chromosomal deletion, which can lead to infant death and a variation of genetic disorders.
McCoy and her husband decided to have a late-term abortion. "We were devastated and we still are. But, we knew that it was the kindest, most loving choice we could make, to end her life before it began, so that she would never have to suffer. We now bear that suffering, so she didn't have to," she told TheHuffington Post.
McCoy opened up on Instagram about how she connects to her post-pregnancy body now nearly two months later. She wrote, in part:
There is a lot of emotion that goes with gaining weight during pregnancy. I gained 15 lbs in 6 months. And then, after everything, I gained about 5 more. I am 20 lbs heavier and two sizes bigger than I was pre-pregnancy. And I am not okay with my body. I think I would've been okay if Evie was here, although she would've likely still been cooking inside me. The fact that I am bigger than I normally am and don't have my baby makes it harder….Every day I get clothes on and they're tight. And every day I'm reminded that I grew my baby for six months and she died. It really is a constant reminder to me. I don't have love for my body. I am angry at it right now. I can't be body positive right now. It's too hard and it hurts too much.
McCoy is incredibly brave. She's honoring her daughter's spirit and her real connection with her body. It's an emotional journey, but sharing posts like these will hopefully help McCoy heal.
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McCoy's story just unsilenced the struggles of many moms out there who've suffered a premature loss, a miscarriage or have had to make the difficult decision of a late-term abortion. Pregnancy loss is heartbreaking no matter what your story is. You don't have to go through it alone.
Image via Habe_mmcoy/Instagram
