Petty larceny, it seems, begins at home. As soon as our kids are old enough to stretch their little arms up and grab objects, removing them from their original location, they will certainly do so. Sure, we all know toddlers are insatiably curious terrors who will grab anything in sight–and usually stuff it into their mouths–but these small acts of thievery are just the beginning! Once our children are slightly older, they will routinely "borrow" things without asking, which, of course, is pretty much the very definition of stealing.
Blogger Scary Mommy wrote a pretty hilarious list of the objects her kids most love to steal and it got me wondering about my own son and what his grubby (and yes, adorable) little hands reach for most often. Here are some of the things he most covets during his pillaging sessions:
__Read more ¿Qué más?: 10 Times Thalia has shown her adorable mom side
__
Notebooks: Around age 5, my son became fascinated with the art of doodling and there simply wasn't enough paper in the world to satiate his seemingly endless appetite for drawing. Unfortunately, that meant he often helped himself to one of the notebooks haphazardly stacked atop my desk, cracking it open and sketching away using pencils, crayons, markers, and anything he had scavenged (usually from my pen holder, of course). On more than one occasion, I opened one of these notebooks during a work meeting, hoping to jot down some notes, only to find sketch after sketch of Spongebob Squarepants. Very professional, I know.
Flip-flops: Almost on a daily basis, I misplace my "house slippers:" a pair of pink flip-flops I use when walking around the apartment. Usually, only one sandal goes AWOL, making me wonder how I managed to separate the pair in the first place. Sometimes, I'll find the missing flip-flop under the bed or behind a dresser and realize that it slid across the floor at some point or another. But in recent years, I've realized many of these missing flip-flop reports were the handiwork of my mischievous child. See, my son finds the entire, "Where are my flip-flops?" routine hilarious, so he decided to fuel my confusion further by snatching my flip-flops and stashing them. Just when I think I've finally lost my marbles, I'll find them in his bedroom, hidden somewhere mighty slick (like his toy box). Solid prank. Still thievery.
Cell phone: Any mother who has ever laid her cell phone down within reach of her curious toddler knows that kids are fascinated by all the buttons and numbers on our mobiles. Unfortunately, this can mean they dial up random folks in your contact list at odd hours. When he was 2, my son phoned a music publicist whose number was saved on my cell at around 6 a.m. at least 10 times, while I was brushing my teeth. That poor woman must have been furious! Now that my son is older, he no longer presses random buttons and winds up unwittingly dialing folks, but he does help himself to my cell phone for such important reasons as playing Candy Crush or Googling such important questions as "Would Hulk beat Thor in a fight?" and "Who is the fastest Mario Kart character?" Why does he just take the cell phone without asking? Well, what would be the fun in that?
Hair ties: Apparently, those elastics we use to secure their ponytails also make pretty handy slingshots. Having discovered this secret use for my hair ties, my son has systematically depleted my stash. But, hey, he's had a lot of fun!
Sticky tape: Yes, it's sticky and clear, but what makes tape so fascinating? Honestly, I have no clue but, over the years, my son has used up roll after roll in order to create "spiderwebs" in doorways, reinforce his Lego creations, and hang hand-drawn signs all over the home (including some pretty funny "No babies allowed" signs a few years back). I shudder to think about how much I've spent on tape over the last decade.
Remote control: My son has a TV in his room, so I'm always mystified when the remote control for my TV set goes missing. Without fail, I'll find my remote control in his bedroom. So why does this happen? Again, I think it goes back to the whole idea of loving things with buttons, numbers, and lights.
Hair gel: When he was about 7, my kiddo decided he wanted to wear his hair spiky, like a miniature Pauly D. I was supportive of him expressing his own personal style and invested in a tube of hair gel just for him. But, of course, he was incredibly heavy-handed when applying the gel to his hair and so, when his tube ran out, he quickly turned to mommy's supply. And, just like that, my $23-a-bottle Ouidad Climate Control Heat & Humidity Gel began to vanish. But my boy's hair was always spiky! Mystery solved.
Image via Thinkstock
