Jennifer Lopez released a new book called True Love this week and revealed that true love doesn't come in the form of a man or a woman or anyone else, true love comes from within. We have to love ourselves unconditionally to be the best we can be and that includes being the best parent and role model for our children.
Many of us think that the way to prove our love for our children is to selflessly give up who we are and become who they deserve but our idea is twisted. They deserve us. The real us. The best us. Not the over exhausted, always wearing yoga pants, never taking care of ourselves-self. That broad's a cop out. Believe me, I used to adhere to this school of logic. But life's too short for martyrdom or mommy guilt.
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I thought if I was there to kiss every booboo, do everything for them, perfectly, always, and that's how they would know I loved them. They would love me more somehow. I believed that martyring myself was the only way to prove to the world and my girls that I loved my children enough; that I was worthy of being a mother. That's all bullsh*t.
I have two girls and, like Jennifer Lopez, it has finally hit me that my girls need me to be their example of what a strong, independent woman is and can be. I don't want to raise girls who think their only value is what they can do for their husband and their children. Though admirable qualities, I want my girls to know that they can be a good wife and mom and still go after their dreams. I want them to know that they deserve happiness and fulfillment just as much as the children and partner they adore.
It took me a long time to realize that I needed to go away once in a while so that my family appreciated all that I did. I needed to go away once in a while so I could appreciate what I had. I need to go to conferences and weekend getaways to become a better professional, a better person for all of us.
We moms spend so much of our time filling it with family and making a home that we forget to take care of ourselves and even if we remember to do so, we put ourselves on the backburner because deep down we believe that we come last. It's a simple question, do you believe your family's needs come before yours? I bet all of you said yes. Here's a better question, do you want your daughter to believe that she always comes last? If your answer is no, then you need to start putting yourself first sometimes. You need to truly love yourself, flaws and all, if happiness, true acceptance and self-confidence is what you want for your daughters. You have to lead by example.
Image via JLo/Websta
