We can all agree that choosing to have a child is a life-altering decision. However, many people often underestimate the profound and lifelong impact choosing to have an abortion can and will have on a woman. The truth is, deciding to terminate a pregnancy is possibly one of the hardest decisions some women will ever have to make, and it is not often taken lightly. Yes, even when they know in their heart of hearts that what they're doing is the right thing for everyone involved, including the fetus. Take it from an unidentified woman who will be getting an abortion on Friday. She decided to say goodbye to the fetus growing inside her belly in a gut-wrenching open letter, which she then posted online for all the world to read.. Warning: You're going to want to grab a box of tissues. This letter will make you ugly cry like a Kardashian.
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"Little Thing," she starts. "I've got twice the appetite and half the energy. It breaks my heart that I don't feel the enchantment that I'm supposed to feel. I am both sorry and not sorry. I am sorry that this is goodbye. I'm sad that I'll never get to meet you. You could have your father's eyes and my nose and we could make our own traditions, be a family. But, Little Thing, we will meet again. I promise that the next time I see that little blue plus, the next time you are in the same reality as me, I will be ready for you."
However, now is not that time. She, like so many other women who've had abortions, is not yet ready to become a mother. After all, she explains, she is still growing herself. Besides, she insists that her decision to have an abortion was born out of selfless love for her future child(ren). "I want you to have all the things I didn't have when I was a child," explains the woman, only known to us as "h." "I can't do to you what was done to me: Plant a seed made of love and spontaneity into a garden, and hope that it will grow on only dreams. Love and spontaneity are beautiful, but they have little merit. And while I have plenty of dreams to go around, dreams are not an effective enough tool for you to build a better tomorrow. I can't bring you here. Not like this." Despite her decision to terminate her pregnancy, this time around, she remains hopeful that this is not goodbye forever. "I love you, Little Thing," she writes. "I promise I will see you again, and next time, you can call me Mom."
I know that not everyone will be as moved by this letter as I was. That's fair. To each their own. But I hope this letter will at least help to dispel the belief that women who choose to have an abortion are choosing the easy way out. That is not true. Many women feel like there isn't an anesthetic strong enough to numb the ache that takes up residence in their chest before, during, and after they've had an abortion. The fact that abortions remain taboo make it even harder for these women to open up about their decision, and ultimately find closure. I'm proud of "h" for sharing her letter with the world. I know it will go a long way to encourage other women to explore how they too can find peace with whatever decision they make.
Image via Thinkstock
