I'm not trying to play the martyr or anything, but can we just talk about how much I sacrifice for my kids? It's a non-stop daily thing. Honestly, before I had kids I had no idea I was capable of so much sacrifice and I'm not talking about the obvious things like time, money, sleep and so forth, I'm talking about things nobody ever told me I would have to sacrifice when I became a mother.
I know it goes with the territory and that ALL mothers do it, but let's consider this a no judgment zone for mamis right now and let me vent just a teeny tiny bit, okay? And yes I love my kids; yes, they are wonderful; yes, I know I'm blessed … because heaven forbid a mother complain about any aspect of motherhood without a disclaimer about how it's all worth it. Yes, it's all worth it, DUH … but …
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Behold the sacrifices I make EVERY SINGLE DAY for my kids:
1. I don't curse in front of them and damn it, I love to curse. Not all the time but sometimes a four letter word helps relieve stress, perfectly encapsulates a feeling or gets an instant laugh. When my kids are around me and they are around me a lot I'm reduced to saying, "Oh my gatos!"
2. I give them the last bite of whatever delicious thing I'm eating. This is remarkable becauseI'm not the kind of person that likes to do that. Oh, I'll ask before I start eating, "Would you like a piece of this?" They say they don't and then they patiently wait until I have one delicious bite left and one of them or both of them will start begging for it. ARGHHHH!!!!
3. When they have a meltdown, I keep it together like a Zen master. They are screaming, hollering, speaking in tones I can't understand and I breathe in, breath out. I breath in, breath out. I deal with the situation and when they have finally calmed down, I curse inside my head a little to relieve stress.
4. I share their father with them. Once upon a time I used to get all of that man's hugs and kisses and I like his hugs and kisses. Don't freak out, I'm not a monster, I love seeing him love on his daughters, but don't think I haven't noticed that I get fewer hugs and kisses than once upon a time.
5. I laugh at knock knock jokes that don't even make sense. Seriously, it's like they don't even try! Knock, knock! Who's there! Shoe. Shoe who? Shoe's not there! Followed by peals of laughter. What? That doesn't make sense. That's not even funny in a nonsensical way, but I laugh and sit through 20 more knock knock jokes.
6. I stopped putting myself down for them. Oh yeah, I used to have an ongoing negative monologue going in my head and sometimes the words would come out too. Things like, you're fat, you're ugly, you're so stupid, why can't you stand up straight, everyone thinks you try to hard, you haven't accomplished anything, etc. and so forth. I no longer do that because I love my daughters so much and I never want them to talk smack about themselves that way, the best way to keep them from doing that to themselves is not to do it to myself.
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