Jennifer Lopez has a new documentary, The Greatest Love Story Never Told, on Amazon Prime. It follows J.Lo as she independently produces her new album and musical film This Is Me … Now: A Love Story, which is also available to stream on Amazon Prime. To say that Jen got deep and personal in this documentary is an understatement. She shared the painful truth that in past relationships, she has been “manhandled” and “other unsavory things.”
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She never mentions names, but it becomes clear that the video for her song “Rebound” was very taxing for her to film because she knows first-hand what it’s like to be in an abusive relationship that can get “rough…disrespectful.” Hopefully, her candor can help others in similar situations know that they are not alone, that they should not feel ashamed, and that they deserve so much better. Check out what she had to say.
Jen opened up while sharing behind the scenes footage of her ‘Rebound’ music video.
Interspersed between scenes of dance rehearsals and filming of the video, Jen talks about her experience without naming names or giving any identifying details. She could be talking about one particular relationship or more than one.
She touches on why it’s so hard to get out of an abusive relationship.
“It’s always so easy to judge other people and say ‘Oh, you were in that relationship and you’re so [expletive] stupid,’” Jen shares. “All your friends always like ‘Come on!’ And you’re like, ‘It’s not that simple.’ You know what I mean? There’s something good about this person and I’m trying to help this person. And sometimes it’s the broken parts in us that keep us there.”
I’m sure we can all relate to being told we’re loved while being treated otherwise.
“There were people in my life who said ‘I love you’ and then didn’t do things that were kind of in line with the word ‘love,'” Jen admits. That hits home for so many of us.
At a certain point, she started to question why she was attracted to someone who would treat her poorly.
“I always thought ‘Oh, it was this other person that was doing all these things that were bad and wrong, but why am I attracted to them? Why am I doing that? Why am I on that vibrational level? It’s because I haven’t got myself together.”
And what finally made her get out?
“You have to hit rock bottom where you’re in situations so uncomfortable and so painful that you finally go, ‘I don’t want this anymore,'” she reveals. Fortunately, she was able to get to that point.
Something that a therapist said to her helped a lot.
"A therapist said to me, 'What if this was your daughter? What would you do?' And it was so clear. I was like, I'd tell her, 'Get the [expletive] out of here, never look back.'"
Why wasn’t it that clear when it came to herself?
“But for me it was so clouded and so complicated with so much of my past and my own pain and hurt and dysfunction, that I couldn't see clearly. It was like looking through fog,” she reasons.
She was never ‘beat up,’ but please remember it doesn’t have to get to that point for it to be abuse.
"Being thrown around and manhandled like that is not fun," Jen says. "I was never in a relationship where I got beat up, thank God, but I've definitely been manhandled and a couple of other unsavory things…rough…disrespectful."
Her video for ‘Rebound’ was informed by her experiences.
Watching it, you can feel how personal and painful it was for Jen to film. She also choreographed it and the dance tells a painful story. “I'm glad that one's behind us," she says in the documentary as she walks away from the set of the video.
What to do if you are experiencing domestic violence?
I feel it’s important to end with a resource in case you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence. It that is the case, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. The call is toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 and do not be worried about language barriers as it is available in more than 170 languages.
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