Time really does fly. You hear parents say it all the time, but as a first-time mom-to-be it's hard to actually understand how true of a statement it is. But after that first chaotic month comes to an end and you start to settle into your new role as mommy, it becomes very real. Before you know it your little tiny sleepy baby is cooing, laughing, rolling over and developing her very own personality.
You look back at the sleepless nights and the every two hour feedings and think, "That wasn't that long ago." And when you realize exactly how much your little one has changed in that short time, it can be a bit shocking.
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I recently returned to work after an almost four-month maternity leave, and I went through a lot of emotions before that first day back. Like many moms, I felt guilty about leaving my son for 10 hours a day and I was devastated at the idea of missing his big developmental milestones. But in the end, I had to accept that I may not be there for all of the big things–the first time he sits up on his own or crawls, his first words, or even his first steps.
All I can do is soak up every moment that I am present for. I can remember his sweet baby smell, the softness of his skin, the way he kicks his feet when he hears my voice and the big smiles I get when he sees me walk in the room. I can take note of the completely authentic sound of his chuckle and just how precious he looks when he falls asleep at night. I can take all of these memories and store them away to get me through those long days at work. Heck, maybe I'll even need to draw from them when he's 15 and ticked off that I won't let him go to a party.
Life is certainly a whirlwind at times, and I'm not promising that I will always be mentally or emotionally present. But, I am promising that I will try my best not to take the small things for granted and that I will do all that I can to count it all joy–even those sleepless nights.
Image via bbaunach/flickr
